Feeling rambly...

[pphaneuf]

Had a good time today, after a bit of a low with lots of stress and tiredness. I'm tired now, granted, but it's just because it's so damned late, so it's okay.

I got a Canon 28mm/f1.8 USM on order. I've been wanting that lens for a long time, saving up and stuff (since june? whew!), and now I'll be getting it soon. This will be an excellent walkaround lens. I was really missing the way my 50mm/f1.8 was on a film body (with the 20D, it comes out as an 80mm), and this will come out as about 45mm, with USM to boot (fast and silent!), it will be very nice.

I'm feeling semi-social. I want to see some people pretty hard, but large crowds are putting me off a bit. And I want to keep things simple. So I don't think I'll do Shadow Court.

Still feeling like making a "mix tape" (on a CD, really), even had picked a first track, Ministry's "Stigmata". Then I wasn't so sure how to follow it up properly, but got another idea for another mix tape, starting with Einstürzende Neubauten's "NNNAAAMMM". This one, I have a better idea of what else I'd put on, but the immediate track after the opening eludes me. This is kind of fun, I just listen to everything I have on random, attentive to what would go well with an air pressure valve exhausting... Heh.

Had some interesting discussion tonight with the lady azrhey. Apparently, some people use labels in really wretched ways. I think we need some labels, you know, "words" we call them, so that we can communicate about things, but these people are just weird. An example brought up was that say I had just one girlfriend at the moment, then I wouldn't be poly. Of course not, since I don't have more than one girlfriend! Duh! I really wonder, is a guy that doesn't have a girlfriend not hetero, then?

In essence, it comes down to the label describing me, rather than me trying to fit some label that's being applied. It's difficult having an alternative lifestyle this way, though, because there's all those alternative subcultures that are minorities and when they encounter someone who'd fit, they're all about that subculture's aspect. It's a subtle difference, but you get to see it. And as I discussed with elliptic_curve before, this is annoying, because all the books and resources, they get done by the "enthusiastic" people (like The Ethical Slut, a really good example of this). It doesn't make them bad resources, it just makes them bloody annoying to read!

Through some brief exchange with feygele, I guess I'm just queer. And queer theory seems fitting, particularly the bit about how "it questions the use of socially assigned categories based on the division between those who share some habit or lifestyle and those who do not".

For example, I was reflecting upon some suggestion of going to a swinging club that had been offered to me. I can see how I could possibly fit the definition of a swinger, but that I don't want to belong to that subculture at all. It's the same, to a lesser extent, with poly. I'm just who I am, I do things some way, and while you could call it that, it feels a bit uncomfortable sometimes when it's done.

It brings back this memory where I was in a bar, about to kiss a girl I know, and she was saying "well, we shouldn't you're with so-and-so", and the other girl with her (who I knew too) just said very loudly that "it was okay, he's poly". Gah, talk about being labeled from all sides at once!

Comments

[azrhey.livejournal.com]

people are strange.

I like my life simple. Take pictures, leave me the shrimp.

[xothia.livejournal.com]

I find it strange how a lot of people identify themselves by their sexual choices.

Have you thought that maybe you think too much about it. If you were really comfortable, you'd just be what you are and carry on with your life.

[sfllaw.livejournal.com]

I suppose it would have been more appropriate to say, "It was okay, he's Pierre."

Unfortunately, that "label" is usually construed as insulting.

[fuzzyila.livejournal.com]

An example brought up was that say I had just one girlfriend at the moment, then I wouldn't be poly.

That's just silly. You could date no one at all and be poly. In my opinion....

[taxlady.livejournal.com]

I have no problem, in principle with "it was okay, he's poly". The problem is in its interpretation. A lot would depend on what the speaker meant, and to how the listener is going to interpret that.

[elliptic-curve.livejournal.com]

Perhaps because I'm good at joining subcultures where I eventually despise everyone else that is part of the same group (polyamory, paganism, math nerds), I've decided that I hate labels.

For example, I hate having to describe my sexual orientation when someone asks me. I found this lovely description the other day, and I'm sticking to it now: "straight, but you know, stuff happens..." :-P