You and I quite agree on that subject, perharps not so surprisingly. :-)
My question was more for a "normal" couple. It's all about what would "they" do, because I know what I'd do already! :-)
The whole "no penetration is not cheating" and "anal only so they can stay virgins", I find completely untenable. This is crazy.
Saying "you can't love someone else" is also untenable to me. I think that those who say they can only love one person are deluding themselves.
But what are they supposed to do in a situation where one of them has feelings for someone else?
I'm afraid that what a lot of them actually to in that case is cheat, but say you don't want to cheat?
Me, would I be in an exclusive relationship, I would recognize those feelings and accept them, without acting upon them. But this might generate friction and this jealousy thing with the other person, given a "normal" couple, no?
Then, there's the option of repressing it all and doing as if it didn't existed. I've been there, and it's not pleasant at lot, and I'm not surprised a lot of people decide to cheat instead. But this is bad too, and might lead to more friction (although it might avoid the jealousy).
Or you could say that if you can't uphold the agreement, you're out of it, but this is highly unfair, as someone in my example would still love their partner, and their partner back.
My current theory is that cheating and/or repressing are the most common, which would help explain the very alien behaviours I find some "normal" people have...
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2005-08-06 05:37 pm (UTC)My question was more for a "normal" couple. It's all about what would "they" do, because I know what I'd do already! :-)
The whole "no penetration is not cheating" and "anal only so they can stay virgins", I find completely untenable. This is crazy.
Saying "you can't love someone else" is also untenable to me. I think that those who say they can only love one person are deluding themselves.
But what are they supposed to do in a situation where one of them has feelings for someone else?
I'm afraid that what a lot of them actually to in that case is cheat, but say you don't want to cheat?
Me, would I be in an exclusive relationship, I would recognize those feelings and accept them, without acting upon them. But this might generate friction and this jealousy thing with the other person, given a "normal" couple, no?
Then, there's the option of repressing it all and doing as if it didn't existed. I've been there, and it's not pleasant at lot, and I'm not surprised a lot of people decide to cheat instead. But this is bad too, and might lead to more friction (although it might avoid the jealousy).
Or you could say that if you can't uphold the agreement, you're out of it, but this is highly unfair, as someone in my example would still love their partner, and their partner back.
My current theory is that cheating and/or repressing are the most common, which would help explain the very alien behaviours I find some "normal" people have...