In a weird mood...

I've had an odd couple of days.

Two days ago, I dreamed of denizsarikaya. I was talking to someone about her, how I missed her and things I had wanted to tell her, having a vague feeling of familiarity about that person growing as it went on. At some point, I asked what was her name, she grinned, and I realized it was her I had been talking to the whole time, and I hadn't recognized her! I thanked her for listening to my whining, she smiled back and I woke up. This is very odd, because I rarely remember my dreams.

The other odd stuff is how I now managed to crawl back on top of things at work, and now I'm trying to (and having some limited success at) get up earlier to finish work earlier. I'm "off the hook" earlier. Yesterday, I had Old Dublin planned, but today, I had nothing planned, and the end of the work day came, the sun quite high in the sky, and I just didn't know what to do. It's not so bad, I can behave by myself (no, really!), but it has been so long, I just felt confused and a bit lost. I ended up calling up azrhey to go see The Aviator.

I had a good time, but I can't help having a lingering feeling of disappointment in myself. I don't want her (or anyone else!) to be a "default", anymore than I'd want to be one. She deserves better respect, and hell, I deserve better respect for myself.

As the highway was closed on my way back home and I was in a weird mood anyway, I drove down through the city and I decided to make a small detour to the Côte-Ste-Catherine apartment. I find my memories and feelings are often keyed to locations and sights, and it did raise a bit of a fuss in me, but less than I was actually prepared for. I think this is good.

The red of cabernet sauvignon

A day of strangely smooth sailing. I'm surprised at how odd it feels that things are under control. I know they aren't really, the branch I'm responsible for is full of automated test failures and bugs that are fixed in previous releases, but it's reasonable enough (yeah, hub_, I'll fix that "eat all my CPU" bug ASAP!) to not melt down anything it touches.

Figured I'd lay down some plans for the weekend, so I did. Already going for a drop at Hatter's tomorrow evening, and some more sugar shacking saturday. Called up pdage to hook up something sunday, we ended up talking for hours. I was intending to maybe write some slides for a presentation on XPLC, but that sort of ate my evening. Oh well, it was even better spent this way, I think.

Tried an experiment. I ripped out all the Einstürzende Neubauten from my "sleep" playlist. I really love the stuff, but it's too short and goes around too quickly (something like a bit more than two hours). Then I tried going over my library and putting some more stuff in that playlist. I managed to make it just over three hours, so that's good stuff!

Did some laundry and general cleaning, having some wine, ripping and listening to good music, petting the Diva... Good times.