In a weird mood...
Apr. 14th, 2005 01:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pphaneufI've had an odd couple of days.
Two days ago, I dreamed of![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
denizsarikaya. I was talking to someone about her, how I missed her and things I had wanted to tell her, having a vague feeling of familiarity about that person growing as it went on. At some point, I asked what was her name, she grinned, and I realized it was her I had been talking to the whole time, and I hadn't recognized her! I thanked her for listening to my whining, she smiled back and I woke up. This is very odd, because I rarely remember my dreams.
The other odd stuff is how I now managed to crawl back on top of things at work, and now I'm trying to (and having some limited success at) get up earlier to finish work earlier. I'm "off the hook" earlier. Yesterday, I had Old Dublin planned, but today, I had nothing planned, and the end of the work day came, the sun quite high in the sky, and I just didn't know what to do. It's not so bad, I can behave by myself (no, really!), but it has been so long, I just felt confused and a bit lost. I ended up calling upazrhey to go see The Aviator.
I had a good time, but I can't help having a lingering feeling of disappointment in myself. I don't want her (or anyone else!) to be a "default", anymore than I'd want to be one. She deserves better respect, and hell, I deserve better respect for myself.
As the highway was closed on my way back home and I was in a weird mood anyway, I drove down through the city and I decided to make a small detour to the Côte-Ste-Catherine apartment. I find my memories and feelings are often keyed to locations and sights, and it did raise a bit of a fuss in me, but less than I was actually prepared for. I think this is good.
Two days ago, I dreamed of
denizsarikaya. I was talking to someone about her, how I missed her and things I had wanted to tell her, having a vague feeling of familiarity about that person growing as it went on. At some point, I asked what was her name, she grinned, and I realized it was her I had been talking to the whole time, and I hadn't recognized her! I thanked her for listening to my whining, she smiled back and I woke up. This is very odd, because I rarely remember my dreams.The other odd stuff is how I now managed to crawl back on top of things at work, and now I'm trying to (and having some limited success at) get up earlier to finish work earlier. I'm "off the hook" earlier. Yesterday, I had Old Dublin planned, but today, I had nothing planned, and the end of the work day came, the sun quite high in the sky, and I just didn't know what to do. It's not so bad, I can behave by myself (no, really!), but it has been so long, I just felt confused and a bit lost. I ended up calling up
azrhey to go see The Aviator.I had a good time, but I can't help having a lingering feeling of disappointment in myself. I don't want her (or anyone else!) to be a "default", anymore than I'd want to be one. She deserves better respect, and hell, I deserve better respect for myself.
As the highway was closed on my way back home and I was in a weird mood anyway, I drove down through the city and I decided to make a small detour to the Côte-Ste-Catherine apartment. I find my memories and feelings are often keyed to locations and sights, and it did raise a bit of a fuss in me, but less than I was actually prepared for. I think this is good.
