pphaneuf: (Smiling)
Not entirely sure why, but flooded with memories today, this year, 11 years after.

Having run down to the metro, up to the apartment, up to the hospital. At about this time, sitting around with friends, looking at each others, with the phone ringing, knowing it was her mother's weekly call. All the people who came to help, in an amazing storm of friendship, telling each others stories, and managing to laugh together. That great service, that I still haven't listened to the recording of. Sitting on the floor in her empty room after everyone had gone, with a bright winter blue sky, crying. Her piano in my living room, with Diva whining at it.

She shaped my life in so many ways, I'm so glad I knew her, however briefly.
pphaneuf: (Sleepy Head)
Well, I haven't been too good at updating recently, but last week, Gaby, a friend from way back, died. It's a bit dulled by the time we haven't seen each others (although I've seen him a few times, most recently the last time I went to the beerfest in Montreal), but still, another one of those things that shouldn't be happening...

...

Feb. 12th, 2007 10:22 am
pphaneuf: (Sleepy Head)
Miss you, Denzo.
pphaneuf: (Sleepy Head)
Sometimes, I'm scared I'm going to forget, but other times, I remember and I'm scared.

This morning, in the train, for some unknown reason, I remembered extremely strongly how I felt at [livejournal.com profile] denizsarikaya's service, how I had a beautiful text from a favourite person (who couldn't make it) in my shirt pocket, but I was just stressed out of my mind, and couldn't possibly get up on there and read it.

[livejournal.com profile] dcoombs, at least on some levels, you're a better man than I.
pphaneuf: (Sleepy Head)
Apparently, I had missed this, somehow, this weekend... I don't think I've met him in person, but I've profited from his contributions quite often, my condolences to those who did.

Silence

Feb. 23rd, 2005 01:12 pm
pphaneuf: (Default)
The sunday after Deniz died, I woke up around 8:30-9:00, in her guestroom's bed. There was no sound. There was no singing. It was just sharp, painful silence. It hurted so much. I loved her.

It's been almost two weeks according to the calendars, but I've lost track of time. Days went in and out, the sun dancing in the sky with the moon. Some things went so slow, and others went so fast. Things happened, and I don't even know how they happened, even though I was obviously there the whole time, being an actor in the events.

Now I am back home, and my new roommate, Diva, is looking at me, purring.

What is is

Feb. 14th, 2005 09:01 pm
pphaneuf: (Default)
A very good friend, [livejournal.com profile] denizsarikaya, has passed away. I would like to reassure people that I am well, even though there is a lot involved in this kind of event, hence my recent absence from your friends pages.

I would like to thank every one of you who expressed their support, and to those who haven't expressed it but have been thinking of me/us.

February 2016

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